Tuesday, February 3, 2009
/ 10:54 PM
Frustrations
I waved white flag to my incompetence. Everywhere i go the people i meet seemed to be well-read about their respective areas, in addition a wide knowledge about the things that are happening around us. Why does it seem like I have nothing to contribute at all?
I have to put in doubly the effort and I might just be moving one step forward, yet two steps behind them still. Not to mention, my procrastination and the time I have , or rather a lack of that, discourage me as I continue to add a day to me being alive.
My goal has been moving further and further away. I don't see it anymore.
Yet when ever I see people like them or that are working in the same environment, i kick myself in the face because of my incompetence and wallow in jealousy.
Why do some get to do what they want and is loving it while some can only dream of it at night.
Tired from all the audit work. The Lion audit is driving me crazy for the last few weeks and more so these few days; have to curb with my impatience of getting it over and done with, and answer to all the queries.
Its month end again. Darn. More work, month end funds, reconciliations procedures etc.
I visualize the slightest sign of winkles appearing, feeling the tension in my body every time when Im on my feet going to collect reports, the trembling headaches and shortness of breathe.
I need out.
A friend is currently in NY, i wonder if she has found what I have wanted. I want retail therapy badly but I need to save! ArgH!
I have so much frustrations inside me that I dont even know how much I can take anymore. When will the 'rubber band' snap?
Out.
I waved white flag to my incompetence. Everywhere i go the people i meet seemed to be well-read about their respective areas, in addition a wide knowledge about the things that are happening around us. Why does it seem like I have nothing to contribute at all?
I have to put in doubly the effort and I might just be moving one step forward, yet two steps behind them still. Not to mention, my procrastination and the time I have , or rather a lack of that, discourage me as I continue to add a day to me being alive.
My goal has been moving further and further away. I don't see it anymore.
Yet when ever I see people like them or that are working in the same environment, i kick myself in the face because of my incompetence and wallow in jealousy.
Why do some get to do what they want and is loving it while some can only dream of it at night.
Tired from all the audit work. The Lion audit is driving me crazy for the last few weeks and more so these few days; have to curb with my impatience of getting it over and done with, and answer to all the queries.
Its month end again. Darn. More work, month end funds, reconciliations procedures etc.
I visualize the slightest sign of winkles appearing, feeling the tension in my body every time when Im on my feet going to collect reports, the trembling headaches and shortness of breathe.
I need out.
A friend is currently in NY, i wonder if she has found what I have wanted. I want retail therapy badly but I need to save! ArgH!
I have so much frustrations inside me that I dont even know how much I can take anymore. When will the 'rubber band' snap?
Out.
We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been
found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and
peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus
I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer
you need to enter into your own reality and reflect
it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band
felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's
all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal
thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. 
