Tuesday, October 14, 2008
/ 11:11 PM
Truth is...
I've been in a MIA mode for quite some time already and I'm really growing comfortable in it. To varying extent, i stopped talking to people that I'm close to; I hardly reply their messages or make my best effort in keeping in touch over msn, facebook etc
I feel that I didnt want to engage myself much in/during social gatherings, and my responses are usually curt and reserved; its like I'm almost severing all possible hopes of a proper human conversation for myself and the rest of the world.
I'm losing myself and I don't know how it started and when it's going to stop.
Sometimes when I'm all by myself; when i travel to and for to work, when i sit by my working desk and wait for my reports to be printed or even whenever I sit there keying in all the entries, my mind wanders and i think about all the things that I want to do but didn't and/or couldn't.
At times, the urge of pulling out a paper and penning it down just so my mind doesn't surrender to the signs of aging "forgetfulness", my procrastinating demon took over. And I will comfort myself by saying that I will do it another day.
How many more days can we live on aimlessly before we realize that our bio-clock had been ticking and chances have had swing by and crossed our path and to never return?
Is there always a chance to do something if we have the will to?
Truth is... No.
It just stops there and when will we ever learn?
I'm so pessimistic and fatalistic and it is so contradictory because of my persistent nature to keeping fighting and trying, I still believe that the world is always a hopeful place for the determine heart.
Which goes back to the last sentence of the previous paragraph.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Will You be there for me?
I've been in a MIA mode for quite some time already and I'm really growing comfortable in it. To varying extent, i stopped talking to people that I'm close to; I hardly reply their messages or make my best effort in keeping in touch over msn, facebook etc
I feel that I didnt want to engage myself much in/during social gatherings, and my responses are usually curt and reserved; its like I'm almost severing all possible hopes of a proper human conversation for myself and the rest of the world.
I'm losing myself and I don't know how it started and when it's going to stop.
Sometimes when I'm all by myself; when i travel to and for to work, when i sit by my working desk and wait for my reports to be printed or even whenever I sit there keying in all the entries, my mind wanders and i think about all the things that I want to do but didn't and/or couldn't.
At times, the urge of pulling out a paper and penning it down just so my mind doesn't surrender to the signs of aging "forgetfulness", my procrastinating demon took over. And I will comfort myself by saying that I will do it another day.
How many more days can we live on aimlessly before we realize that our bio-clock had been ticking and chances have had swing by and crossed our path and to never return?
Is there always a chance to do something if we have the will to?
Truth is... No.
It just stops there and when will we ever learn?
I'm so pessimistic and fatalistic and it is so contradictory because of my persistent nature to keeping fighting and trying, I still believe that the world is always a hopeful place for the determine heart.
Which goes back to the last sentence of the previous paragraph.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Will You be there for me?
We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been
found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and
peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus
I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer
you need to enter into your own reality and reflect
it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band
felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's
all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal
thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. 
