Sunday, October 7, 2007
/ 2:33 PM
Work has been horrible starting October. Many colleagues left for better opportunities;
the rest of us were piled up with the remaining workload, together with incompetent handing over of the funds. Lots of problems trying to get everything back on track. Stayed till late at night during the week, but i sneaked off early on friday.
Been too busy to think much about issues, considering the fact that i hardly had time to have a proper meal or to go toilet. Finally i have gotten to experience the psychological state when
someone is silently screaming from within. It was so stressed with the tight cut off time and uncertainty of how to even solve the situation, i nearly broke down on the first day. I think I'm better than that, after having to gone through worst situations.
Torn between ABC...
Just something that pops up while i was stoning, with the music in the background.
Why do i kept getting back to a situation when Im at the "begging" end of the bargain?
Not because i have invested more emotions but i realized that the counter party happens to fall into the same category in terms of characteristics.
The next question is ... Did I bring it on to myself?
The way my personality and character is wired, perhaps i think too much into the unknown.
The Unknown.. its not something that can be prevented by considering all factors and attaching "preventions" to it.
But if otherwise, how can one step into a lake without knowing the depth of it and how its gonna survive it? or walk into a dark tunnel without preparing what he might face during his journey into the light?
Contradictions is my middle name.
We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been
found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and
peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus
I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer
you need to enter into your own reality and reflect
it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band
felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's
all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal
thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. 
